A Surprising Truth About Anxiety in Motherhood
Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get enough airtime: anxiety in motherhood. It’s no secret that being a mom is hard work, but did you know that anxiety can start way before the sleepless nights and endless diaper changes? Yup, it can actually begin during pregnancy. And here’s the kicker—that anxiety doesn’t just affect you; it can also have an impact on your baby.
Before you panic, let me explain (and please, take a deep breath—I promise this isn’t a doom-and-gloom kind of blog). Studies show that when we’re anxious during pregnancy, our stress hormones can influence how our baby’s stress response system develops. This might mean our little ones could be more sensitive to stress or anxiety as they grow. But here’s the thing: this isn’t a life sentence for you or your child.
As moms, we’re constantly carrying this invisible bag of guilt and worry, always wondering if we’re doing enough or if we’re somehow messing up. So let me tell you this—anxiety doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you human. The good news is that there’s so much you can do to help yourself and your baby feel calm, connected, and resilient.
Why Talking About It Matters
When we bring our anxiety into the light, it loses some of its grip on us. A lot of moms I work with tell me they’re afraid to admit they’re struggling because they feel like they’re supposed to have it all together. But here’s a little secret: nobody has it all together. Not me, not your neighbor with the Pinterest-perfect life, and definitely not that mom on Instagram who makes homemade sourdough bread while her toddler calmly plays nearby.
Anxiety loves silence. It thrives when we’re too scared or ashamed to talk about it. But when we share what we’re feeling, we create space for support, understanding, and healing—not just for us but for our kids, too.
What You Can Do About Anxiety in Motherhood
If you’re reading this and thinking, Wow, this sounds familiar, I want you to know you’re not alone. Here are a few steps you can take today to start easing that anxiety:
Breathe First: When anxiety shows up (and it will), your first step is to pause and breathe. Deep, slow belly breaths can help calm your nervous system and bring you back to the moment. Try inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, and exhaling for 6.
Be Curious About Your Anxiety: Instead of trying to push it away, get curious. Ask yourself, What’s this feeling trying to tell me? Sometimes, anxiety is just our body’s way of saying, “Hey, you’ve got a lot going on, and I’m feeling overwhelmed.”
Find Your People: Motherhood wasn’t meant to be done alone. Find those who can hold space for you—whether it’s a trusted friend, a partner, a therapist, or a mom’s group. Talking it out with someone who gets it can make a world of difference.
Practice Self-Compassion: This one’s big. Instead of beating yourself up for feeling anxious, try speaking to yourself the way you’d talk to your best friend. Would you ever tell her she’s failing because she’s struggling? Of course not. You’d remind her she’s doing her best and that her best is more than enough. You deserve the same kindness.
The Big Takeaway
Anxiety in motherhood isn’t a sign you’re broken—it’s a sign you’re juggling a lot. And while anxiety can feel overwhelming, it’s not something you have to face alone. With the right tools and support, you can not only manage it but thrive in motherhood. And when you work on healing your own anxiety, you’re also creating a foundation of resilience for your kids. That’s powerful.
So take a deep breath. You’ve got this. And if you ever feel like you don’t, I’m here to remind you that you’re not alone.
Ellie Messinger-Adams LPCC #14196
ellie@ematherapy.com
