Hi, I’m Ellie Messinger-Adams,
a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in North County San Diego and across California
I specialize in supporting moms navigating what I call the "Motherhood Midlife Crisis" — that phase where you’re no longer who you were, not quite who you expected to be, and uncertain about who you are now. This process of becoming can bring anxiety, grief, overwhelm, and profound uncertainty. My work focuses on helping moms find their confidence and ground themselves in who they truly are today.
As a mom of two, my passion for this work is deeply personal. My journey into motherhood was far from the idealized version I had envisioned. Fears of disappointing others and unrealistic expectations around birth led me to push my body harder than was healthy, and after my first child, I experienced postpartum depression, anxiety and struggled to connect with my daughter. Breastfeeding was fraught with challenges: a breast reduction left me unable to produce enough milk, and her tongue tie made latching nearly impossible. My anxious self, overwhelmed by others’ “expertise”, found it hard to trust my own instincts. I’ll never forget the heartbreaking moment when, holding my crying, hungry baby, I argued with my husband: “No, don’t give her that bottle. If I just make her hungry enough, she’ll figure it out.” The tears that followed, coupled with my inner critic screaming that I wasn’t a good enough mom, felt like rock bottom. I worried that formula would ruin her and that I’d failed her completely.
Thankfully, I had an incredible support system to lean on. It was a lifeline that pulled me through and opened my eyes to a critical truth: Bonding with your baby is deeply connected to your mental health, a crucial aspect of early motherhood which is vital for both mother and child. By the time I was ready to have my second child — during the COVID pandemic — I prepared myself emotionally for the possibility of breastfeeding struggles and postpartum depression. That preparation alone made a world of difference, even amidst the challenges of a global pandemic.
This journey reshaped me not only as a mother but as a therapist. I transitioned to working with moms because I realized that by helping moms feel whole and grounded, I could create a ripple effect. When moms thrive, so do their children. With my background as a professional school counselor and child therapist, I bring a unique perspective to my work. I also offer parenting support, helping moms grow into their roles as guides for their children.
At ēma therapy, I combine compassion, mindfulness, and practical tools to support you on your motherhood journey. I want to be that support system for other moms, whether it’s helping in the moment when anxiety and distress hit, or working together before baby arrives to hopefully prevent these struggles through proactive care. Whether you’re struggling with postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, navigating the demands of parenting, or finding yourself again, I’m here to help. You don’t have to do this alone.
As the founder, owner and therapist at ēma therapy, I focus on helping women ground themselves in their core energy as mama warriors. The name of my company, ēma, holds special significance. Not only are E M and A my initials, but ēma is the Hebrew word for mother and Ma is the yogic term for the mother spirit, which embodies a universal, nurturing energy. Together, as client and therapist we create a safe and supportive space where self-expression and exploration bring out personal authenticity and where you can embrace the truest version of yourself.
License and Education
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, California #14196
MA Counselor Education: Western Michigan University
Certificate Level Perinatal Mental Health Professional Training: Postpartum Support International
TheraPlay® Level 1 Training: TheraPlay Institute
Somatic Sessions Training: Soleil Hepner C-IAYT
IFS Comprehensive Training (In Progress): Pesi
Are you ready to break free from the cycle of perfectionism and people-pleasing to become the mom you truly want to be?
Let’s work together to help you find balance, rediscover your true self, and thrive without sacrificing your needs. Schedule your free 15-minute intro call TODAY—I’m here to support you every step of the way!